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A parenting buffer


If you look up the word “buffer,” it means to lessen or moderate the impact of. Often, we humans buffer in order not to feel a certain emotion.

We overeat or over-Facebook, or we become overly busy—to avoid something. And very often that something is an emotion that we are unwilling to feel.

And then there’s parenting buffering (I made this concept up, because I’ve noticed myself doing this). Parenting buffering is when we avoid parenting because either we’re bored, tired, overwhelmed, feeling “done,” angry, frustrated, unproductive, unaccomplished …

And usually, our biggest parenting buffer is lack of presence. We’re going to do things that take us AWAY from parenting and INTO something else, because of any of those emotions we feel above.

It looks like this:

Bedtime is driving me crazy, and I can’t keep snuggling and lying down, and giving another drink, and and and … so I