Recently, I’ve been seeing so many BEFORE and AFTER posts and pics floating through my social media. Seems like a fad for people to post their before and afters, specifically with weight loss or some kind of external change. So I decided to post mine 😉.
Are you confused? Does it look the same to you?
Because it’s got nothing to do with visible external change.
Your BEFORE is the place you were in before your transformation. AFTER is the place you’re in now, post-transformation.
Transformation doesn’t have to be this big, huge, earth-shattering thing.
I’ll share with you my BEFORE and AFTER because I really think it’s so powerful to keep track of yourself. Note your progress. Give yourself credit. And keep creating more of it.
[Full disclosure: This is my BEFORE and AFTER 6 years of working on and off with my coach, and around $7000 of investing in myself.]
I had very low self-confidence. I didn’t think I was talented. I viewed talent as the arts. You had to be good at singing, dancing, acting, or something for the stage. Since I didn’t have any of that, I had no talents. I thought I wasn’t a good enough mom. I thought everyone else had it together, “did it all,” “figured it out” and somehow I was left in survival mode, scraping by and feeling like a failure. I defined myself by the state of my house. I thought that since I couldn’t keep it clean with, at the time, 3 kids under 3, there was something wrong with me. I looked at other moms as “superwoman.” I compared myself ALL THE TIME to other moms. I always came up short in all my comparisons. I gave way too much false meaning to simple everyday things (e.g. moldy apple in fridge = I’m a terrible homemaker). I lived with a lot of inner resentment and overwhelm, because I thought I was “doing the right thing,” by giving, giving, giving. I didn’t even know what my needs were, let alone do what it takes to meet those needs. I was chasing some kind of elusive target to “be the person I wanted to be,” which was in fact nothing I actually wanted, and only what I decided was “the best way to be.”
I can list all my talents, and none of them can be performed on a stage. I know who I am. I know my worth. I know what I give to the world. I love my motherhood and mom life. I have broken a multi-generational chain of low self-confidence. I don’t indulge in thoughts of “not good enough.” I don’t compare. I don’t define myself by the state of my house, or by anything materialistic. I don’t fall into resentment, or stress, or overwhelm. I know what my needs are and unapologetically meet those needs. I fill my own cup so that I have so much to give. I love exactly who I am, and always want to be working on myself and evolving into the next best version of myself … AND I'm totally OK with failure. And with feeling negative emotion. None of the above happens all of the time, because that's not real life, and that's OK. I know what to do with unwanted thoughts and unwanted emotions when they come up.
Honestly, the difference is astounding. I feel like everything about my life changed, although nothing changed but me.
So, sit down with yourself. Give yourself space and time to think. And find some BEFORE and AFTERS in your life. And then create some more.
Hey! I'll give you an hour of my life to help you transform yours! Pretty cool, right? You can email me and we'll set something up.