Hold tight to your lifeboat

When I was in one of my depressions, I remember the feeling of being trapped in my body and mind. All I wanted to do was get out of my body and the sensations I was feeling.

Like there was a heavy boot on my chest.

Like my brain was so foggy that I couldn’t answer simple questions or perform simple tasks.

I started googling like crazy on my phone. With a sense of urgency, I was furiously typing: How do I get out of depression? How do I get out of depression NOW? How do I get out of depression RIGHT NOW?

When I think about it now, it’s almost comical. But in the midst of it, I had this sense that I couldn’t handle one more instant of feeling that way.

Of course, the googling didn’t work. In fact, I was doing “all the right things” and it wasn’t “working.”

And my wise coach said to me, “There’s nothing you did to bring this on, and nothing you can do to take this away.” (And if there was anything to be doing to take it away, I was already doing it). And then she said, “You’re just on a lifeboat now, and you need to ride the waves until it’s over. Hold on tight.”

It made a huge impression on me. I allowed myself to take some deep breaths. To let go of the unnecessary urgency. To start leaning into ACCEPTANCE and ALLOWANCE. This is what it is. It’s like when a surfer falls over in a wave, he just needs to allow the wave, and go with the wave, instead of resist it and try to overcome it.

Sometimes, we need to go with our life’s waves. It might not be what we ordered up (it usually never is), it might not be all that pleasant. But when we put down the fight that is a losing battle anyway, when we lean into what is instead of what we think should be, we allow the magic to happen. We allow what is meant to be, to unfold before our eyes. We start loving the life we have instead of wishing for the life we don’t.

It’s a beautiful place to be, my friend. Hang tight onto your lifeboat if you’re in a wave right now. I promise you the wave will end.