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How to take criticism

Criticism is something that most of us have a hard time taking. Usually, a critical comment or conversation can send us down the rabbit hole of self loathing. Alternatively, it can bring out all our anger and push back toward the criticizer, thus deepening the already existing chasm.

I've been reading Harriet Lerner's book titled "The Dance of Connection, "and I came across this list for taking criticism that I thought was so powerful and wanted to share with you:

10 Do's and Don'ts

1. Listen attentively to the person who is criticizing you without planning your reply. 2. Ask questions about whatever you don't understand. 3. Avoid getting defensive. Don't listen in order to argue or refute. Instead, listen for the piece of criticism you can agree with, even if it's embedded in exaggerations and inaccuracies. 4