Self-care is an often-debated topic out there. I hear both sides of the "aisle."
There are those who say that the world has gotten way too obsessed with self-care, that people are now so self-absorbed as a result, and that we need to move away from this push for non-stop self-care.
Then there are those who are really into it, talk about it at every opportunity, and use self-care as a reason to not do, or do, something.
Here's my take it all in. Those who are "against" self-care are confusing it with self-indulgence.
Self-care is NOT self-indulgence.
Self-indulgence looks like someone who primarily only thinks about themselves, and doesn't extend themselves to others. Self-care looks like someone who takes care of themselves properly and can now put themselves out for someone else.
Self-care is NOT selfish.
Again, selfish is someone who puts themselves first, always, and who doesn't care about others. Self-care is taking care of yourself so that you can be there for others.
Self-care is NOT unimportant, optional, or the last thing on your to-do list.
I always say that you can't give from an empty cup. If you want to be there for others (whether that means your spouse, your kids, your co-workers, your friends), you have to "be full." And for everyone that looks different. It could mean well-rested, fulfilled, healthy fuel (i.e. food), calm and happy. It's the #1 priority on your to do list, because if you don't take care of yourself, you won't be able to show up for the people in your life in the way you want to.
Everyone should have an individualized self-care plan. It’s not a one size fits all. We all need a different amount of sleep, naps, food intake, exercise, downtime etc.
Here’s what I want you to consider:
How many hours of sleep do I get at night? _________________________________________________
What do I eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner? ______________________________________________
What do I do for exercise and how often? ___________________________________________________
What do I do for FUN? __________________________________________________________________
What do I do for downtime? _____________________________________________________________
What excites me? ______________________________________________________________________
What am I passionate about? ____________________________________________________________
I know that if I don’t have enough sleep, or haven’t eaten properly, or haven’t had downtime, the likelihood of me remaining calm and happy around my kids or husband is slim to none.
Set yourself up for success.
The way to do that is to legitimately know your needs, and then allow yourself to meet your own needs.
This might take you some time to figure out, and that’s ok. Take all the time you need. You’re a mom, and you’re worth it. You deserve it. Your family deserves it.
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