Sneaky thoughts are thoughts that “sound nice” and seem innocent, but truly are not. They’re different for everyone, and so you’re going to have to listen in to your own brain to discover your own sneaky thoughts, but I’ll share some that come to mind so you know what I’m talking about.
Here are some sneaky thoughts (with context explained):
“I just want them to like me.” Sounds lovely doesn’t it? We all just want to be liked. But it’s so sneaky. Because we can’t control other people’s opinions of us. That’s emotional manipulation. You work on showing up the way you want, and leave other people’s thoughts and opinions up to them.
“I just want everyone to get along.” Same as above. It sounds so wonderful and innocent, but you’ll drive yourself crazy, not to mention most likely fall short, if you think you can control everyone else’s emotions and ability to get along. That’s not your department.
“There’s no reason I can’t help out my boss and stay later if she needs it.” Very noble sounding. You’re resentful and annoyed when you get home, but you understand how much your boss needs that bit of work, and you think “just 10 minutes” shouldn’t be a big deal … right? So truly, you’re lying to yourself and you’re lying to your boss. You’re people-pleasing—which is also emotional manipulation.
See what I mean? Sneaky thoughts. Thoughts that at first glance can seem so innocent and lovely and even noble. But they’re not.
So be honest with yourself. What’s in your control? And what do you truly want here?