A few days ago, my coach said a beautiful line that I've believed and lived by for the past six years. She said:
The greatest gift you can give your kids is your own happiness.
I couldn't agree more.
Here's the thing. As busy women and mothers, it is too easy for us to continually put the needs of others before our own.
There are dishes to be cleaned, babies to nurse, laundry to fold, dinner to be made, snacks to pack, work to get to, sleep to dream about … the list could go on forever. As a mama, you are never in need of something to do.
When your day is already full from the moment your eyes open, it can feel impossible to think about changing up your routine. That schedule is life.
You might wonder, “How can I take anything out of my day when everything is necessary?”
Yeah, that’s THE question, right?
But that doesn’t mean we still can’t create space to do the things that bring us joy.
It doesn’t mean we have to stop dreaming or having bigger ambitions for ourselves in and out of our home.
I believe that as moms we have an even greater capacity to re-prioritize, juggle, and create something from nothing.
I believe that if we can build a life for the ones we love, we can also build space in that life to take care of ourselves.
I believe if you really value something, you will find and make time for it. If something is really and truly important to you, it will not slip away forever, no matter how busy you might be right now.
When that thing finds you again, you can’t ignore it. Your heart and your mind can’t sweep it up with breakfast’s crumbs. You need to take action.
So when that time comes, what do you do? What are those first steps to bring those pieces of you back to life?
The first step is to step back and check in with your intentions. Why are you wanting/ready to re-prioritize your life?
So many of my clients say things like, "I don't even know what I like to do anymore," "I used to be the person who …, " "I don't have time for hobbies or to do things just for fun."
And I hear you. Because I said those same things for the first 3 years of my motherhood.
But after three years, things changed. First, it became a necessity. I could no longer afford not to think about myself. Then, it was like a mama fog finally lifted and I was ready to get back to me.
I missed me.
But I had left so much of me in another world and I wasn’t sure where to even begin to find myself again.
So I took a breath.
With so many ways to go, I first wanted to make sure that my WHY was set.
Why did I want to start this journey? Why was I about to put in so much work on myself?
If I didn’t have this figured out first and fully believe in my intentions, I knew I wouldn’t stick with it.
So I sat down and wrote out my WHYs:
To be an example for my kids that moms can need fulfillment and fun outside of motherhood, and that's OK. (I don't want them to think you need to martyr yourself!)
To introduce more fun into my life so that I can show up as the person I wanted to be for my family.
To have energy to play and be present with kids.
To be an attentive and passionate wife.
To be spiritually fulfilled.
What are your WHYs?
Take some time today and write out your WHYs. And then write out what you would love to do or enjoy doing, if you weren't mommy-ing, working, or house-keeping. And here comes the hardest part ... then go make time to do one of those things, guilt-free.