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Why I don't like parenting books

Updated: Aug 4, 2020

I heard a line, I think in a TedTalk I was once listening to that really resonated with me. I'll paraphrase it here (I'd love to give credit to the source, but I don't remember it):

Parenting has gone from a skill that we all innately possess, to something that we are all scrambling to 'get good at and figure out.'

Libraries and bookstores have entire sections for Parenting Books. The internet is filled with articles, websites, and blogs dedicated to this subject. And there are fantastic resources out there. I'm not knocking that.

BUT - I remember the first few parenting books I read at the beginning of my career as a mom (almost 9 years ago), and how after I finished them, I just felt like I wasn't doing anything right.

And oh my goodness, the two sides of every argument. Yes pacifier. No pacifier. Cry it out. Never let your kid cry it out.

And that's just for babies. It's the same as they grow. Time out is good for them. Time out is bad for them. Kids can learn more than we teach them in the classroom. Kids need more play time. Teenagers need to be given their independence. Teenagers need to be on a tight leash because otherwise they'll run wild.

So I want to go back to realizing that it's a skill we all innately possess. (Ok, maybe not all. A lot will depend on how a person was parented.)

YOU, and ONLY YOU, have everything it takes to parent the child/ren you already have, or will have, in the future. And no one can tell you how to do that. At your core, you know what's best. You know your style. You know what works for you.

I'm a fan of "Sane Parenting." It's the approach I've invented. It has one line in it:

Do what works for you and keeps you sane. The end.

Now, I'm not saying there aren't amazing parenting books out there. There are so many good ones! (And I'd love to hear which ones you love). But no one knows you and your child/ren the way you do, and listening to your own intuition is so crucial. Don't use a parenting book or another parenting style as a way to beat yourself up. Use it as a resource, and cherry pick the parts that work for you.

We're all on this journey together.


P.S. Is there a topic you'd like to see a blog post about? Or something you're specifically struggling with that you'd like insight on? I'd love to hear from you!

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